Every couple fights. And these conflicts fall into two categories: those that can be solved, like what movie to see on Saturday night, and those that can’t be solved, like how to spend money. Unfortunately, almost 70 percent of conflicts fall into the irresolvable category. Since you know you’re going to fight, it’s important to learn to fight right, especially if you have children. Here are a few tips:
1. Don’t get physical — obviously, not hitting, but also no throwing things, breaking things, or slamming doors.
2. Don’t criticize your spouse with sweeping generalizations, like “Your father never thinks about anyone but himself.” Instead, criticize specific actions, like “It really annoys me when your mother forgets to put gas in the car.”
3. Children are highly attuned to their parents. Don’t think they won’t notice the “silent treatment.”
4. Don’t ask your kids to tattle on a parent, or to choose a side.
5. Don’t expose your kids to inappropriate information about finances, previous behavior, job worries, etc.
5. Obviously, sometimes you will fight in front of your kids. Try to do so only if you’re going to resolve the fight in that conversation. That way, you show your kids that people can fight and come to resolution.
What other tip would you suggest when it comes to “fighting fair”?